Coping with Divorce for Children

Coping with Divorce pic
Coping with Divorce
Image: divorcesupport.about.com

A licensed clinical psychologist and social worker, Dr. Miriam Galindo has been part of an approved panel of experts for Orange County Superior Court since 2005. Dr. Miriam Galindo has been able to work with children and their families through many different aspects of a divorce, and she has a strong understanding of the psychological effects of divorce on a child.

Most of the effects of divorce on a child have less to do with the custodial situation, or even the change in environment, as the uncertainty involved in the divorce process. The presentation of new issues such as parental conflict and the lack of a unified front between parents can be difficult for children. Initial adjustment for children typically takes about two years.

Younger children tend to blame themselves and often imagine their parents getting back together. Older children, meanwhile, see the breakdown of trust and unity in their family relationships and become more independent. In many cases, it also has a negative effect on their first serious romantic relationships, which they expect to fail.

Negative effects of divorce can be mitigated with loving communication from both parents as well as reliable, consistent communication. Children whose divorced parents can maintain amiable relations in front of the child and make time for the child’s needs are more likely to adjust well.

Encouraging Children to Talk about a Divorce

In addition to serving as an approved child custody evaluator for California’s Orange County, Miriam Galindo has experience providing family therapy. In particular, Miriam Galindo works with families that are dealing with difficult situations, such as a divorce.

A divorce is not only very stressful for parents, but also for any children in the family. However, there are a number of things parents can do to help minimize the stress and make the experience easier for children.

For example, parents should give children opportunities to express their own feelings about the divorce in an honest and open way. Parents should listen and let the children speak about the situation without admonishing children for how they feel or dismissing their feelings. Children often want to avoid serious discussions, but it is important for them to be encouraged to share how they really feel.

If children have difficulty verbalizing their feelings about the divorce, parents can help them by encouraging them to open up when they appear upset. If parents are unsure of how to navigate the divorce with their children or feel that children could benefit from speaking with a professional, meeting with a counselor or therapist is often very beneficial.

Helping Children Cope with Divorce

Dr. Miriam Galindo, a licensed social worker and licensed psychologist, currently maintains a private practice with her husband in Irvine, California. With a doctor of psychology from Trinity College of Graduate Studies, Dr. Miriam Galindo provides psychological counseling to children in high-conflict divorce situations.

Divorce is a stressful and confusing experience for children, so it is important that parents help their kids through the process by maintaining stability at home, attending to their children’s needs, and being positive. At first, discussing the situation with children is often a difficult task, but telling the truth, addressing the changes that will be happening, and telling children often that they are loved help alleviate the pain and confusion. Parents should explain in a simple way why the divorce is happening and emphasize that, while things may change between parents, both parents will always love their children.

It is also important that parents do not blame their spouse, as difficult as it may be. Speaking badly about one another and quizzing children on what happens at the other parent’s house makes the situation more stressful for the children. Sometimes, getting help for one’s own painful feelings helps with staying positive and supporting the children.

Parents should also allow children to express their feelings about the situation. By allowing children to be honest about what they feel, parents are able to learn the best way to support and help them through the process. Any misunderstandings that come up should be calmly addressed so that the children understand what is happening. Finally, a consistent message of reassurance and love is an important part of the divorce process for children.